


It Doesn't Have to be Love

by wintergreen_tic_tac



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aromantic Jonah Beck, Canon Compliant, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25449067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintergreen_tic_tac/pseuds/wintergreen_tic_tac
Summary: Andi Mack from Jonah's POV.I'll try to release new chapters at least once a week. During quarantine it'll probably be every other day.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

I know Andi Mack. I mean, I've never actually talked to her, but I see her sometimes at Jefferson. She has these awesome shoes that I think are made of patterned duct tape. I pointed them out when her sister asked me to teach Andi how to play ultimate frisbee. I didn't take her for a diskhead, but of course I agreed to teach her- I'll never turn down the opportunity to spread the fun of ultimate, and I've always admired Andi.  
"What do you say? You ready to hurl?" I ask her.  
She has a strange expression on her face, but she replies, "Is it that obvious?"  
I'm glad she's excited! I say, "Ok, Andi, let's get to it then!" In the beginning, her stance is all wrong and the disc flops to the ground ten feet after she throws it. We work on it though, and within the hour Andi can throw it to where I'm standing 50 feet away. 3 PM approaches- the time I have to meet Amber- and Andi's improved so much and she looks like she's having a lot of fun, so I ask her- well, tell her, "You're joining the team! Say yes, right now. Say 'yes, I'm joining the team.'"  
Her face scrunches up. "What team?"  
I grin. She's gonna be so happy to hear about it.  
"The ultimate frisbee team! Durr, I'm the captain!"  
To my surprise, she responds, "No durr, but that's a sport. I don't play sports, I'm an indoor person."  
"But what if you're really an outdoor person?"  
"I think I would have heard."  
I know Andi would love being on the team. And she's cool, the team would love her, too.  
"Listen. You're good at this," I tell her.  
"I am?"  
To be honest, I don't know why she's so hesitant to join. This is Andi Mack, she'd fit in anywhere!  
"C'mon, check it out. We got practice tomorrow, after school. You like this, I know you do."  
She smiles, which I think is a good sign. "I do... I like you..."  
Huh? We weren't talking about me, we were talking about ultimate.  
"It!" She corrects herself. "I like it, frisbee. Yeah. Which is totally what I said before."  
I'm pretty sure it wasn't, but who am I to argue? She was the one who said it.  
"Amber alert, Amber alert," a soft voice to my right says. Amber touches my shoulder, and Andi's face falls, as does my stomach.  
"Stop," I say half-jokingly.  
Andi stares at Amber, looking confused.  
"This is Amber," I say.  
"His girlfriend," Amber clarifies, "Hi."  
"Hi! Nice to meet you. You guys are a... cute couple," Andi responds. I'm glad she likes Amber. I don't know if Amber is going to like her though. For whatever reason, she doesn't like any of the girls I hang out with.  
"You don't go to Jefferson, 'cause I would remember that," she continues.  
"I go to Grant," Amber says. I nod.  
"Oh, high school! You're in high school."  
Amber turns her head to me, still smiling.  
"I love that you have groupies."  
I'm not quite sure what that means, but I assume it's something about friends. The way she said it, though, makes me think she didn't mean it in a friendly way.  
"I have to go," Andi says, starting to walk off. She stops by Amber.  
"And by the way, Amber alerts are for kidnapped children. So kinda terrifying as opposed to cute, just something to think about."  
I've thought about that before. It's something that doesn't sit right with me about Amber, along with a plethora of other things: her not wanting me to hang out with other girls, wanting all my free time, and something else I can't quite put my finger on.  
Amber takes my hand and we walk in the direction opposite the way Andi's going.  
"She seems nice. If nice had a different meaning," she says, the second part in a quieter voice. Something in my chest tightens.  
"Hey, that's not fair. You only talked to her for a minute, if you got to know her, you would like her."  
She stops in her tracks and lets go of my hand. She turns toward me and says in a volume slightly louder than she previously used, "What, so you like her better than me?"  
"I didn't say that! I said-"  
I don't get to finish my sentence. Amber crosses her arms and says in a tight voice, "I know what you said. And I know what you meant. I just remembered, I have to be somewhere. See ya." She turns and walks off. What does she think I meant? I told her I didn't like Andi more than her. With Amber, she could have taken anything from what I said. I take a deep breath and toss my frisbee in the air. I still have a few hours before I have to be home, I may as well do something with them.  
I flip over the disk, revealing the smiley face I drew on it in practice a few days ago. I put it next to my head in my hood and take a selfie. I send it to Andi and caption it 'we miss you!'

I step into the foyer, closing the door behind me. I can smell garlic and basil coming from the kitchen, which tells me my family hasn't eaten dinner yet.  
"I'm home," I call out.  
"'Kay, dinner's in fifteen!" my mom yells back.  
I plop onto the swivel chair in my room and take off my shoes, chucking my socks into the hamper next to my bed. I set my frisbee onto my desk, its Sharpie face smiling at me. I smile back.


	2. Chapter 2- flashback

I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. Unfortunately, I don't have any ruby slippers. Five or six ninth grade girls surround me. Or rather, I'm standing in a circle with them, having a conversation about school and people I don't know and how excited they are start at Grant high school on August 27. But it feels like I'm surrounded. A blonde girl with mean eyebrows keeps shooting me looks, but I don't know what they mean- no, I do. I just don't want them to mean that. I mean, this girl is probably almost two years older than me, which is kind of weird. That's what it is.  
I excuse myself and make my way to where the snack table sits, under the banner that reads 'freshman orientation!' and grab some pretzel sticks and a chocolate chip cookie. Someone knocks my arm with their elbow: Eyebrow Girl.  
"Had to escape, huh? I get that," she says, clearly not getting it. I try to do a friendly chuckle, but it sounds more uncomfortable than I was hoping.  
"I'm Amber."  
"Jonah."  
Amber tilts her head a little. Her eyes are really pretty, a lot of colors. "Jonah? That's a nice name."  
I'm not the best at taking complements, so I reply, "Thanks, I got it for my birthday."  
She giggles and says, "You're funny. I bet you make your girlfriend laugh a lot."  
Oh. Getting right to it, huh?  
"I, uh, don't have a girlfriend."  
She brushes a piece of hair behind her ear and says, "Interesting," enunciating every syllable. Was that a judgemental 'interesting' or a flirty 'interesting'? Well, there's a quick way to find out.  
"Do you have InstaPic?" I ask.  
"Of course! It's amber_kippen," Amber says, like I should already know that. I pull out my phone and search her username. Her profile picture is her and a brunette girl standing in front of a ferris wheel.  
"That's me and my friend, Iris. The view from the ferris wheel is amazing, you and I should go sometime," she suggests.  
"Sounds fun, I'm down," I respond. She smiles.  
I tap the blue 'follow' icon with my thumb and say, "Docious magocious, just followed you," with what I hope was an easygoing smile. She follows me back immediately. With a wink, Amber Kippen turns and rejoins the group of girls talking amongst themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter again. I'm already working on the next one, it'll be longer. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Thursday

Andi jogs up to where I stand by a bench in the sun.  
"You came!" I say. She doesn't look as excited as I am.  
"I'm still not sure about this," she says.  
"It's okay," I assure her, "I am."  
I show her the shirt I made for her last night. It's galaxy patterned, like all the Space Otters jerseys are, and says 'Andiman' on the back, above the number 13.  
"Andiman," she reads, "How'd you come up with that?"  
"Isn't that what everyone calls you?" I remember yesterday when I was teaching her, her sister yelled 'go Andiman!' occasionally. I'd just assumed that was her nickname.  
"Just... one person," she says hesitantly. Oh. I can't go back now, I already made the shirt.  
"Now it's two. Get out there, Andiman, this disc isn't gonna catch itself!"  
I toss the disc toward the field and she runs to catch it before it hits the ground.

Friday

I walk through rows of kids throwing frisbees to their partners, giving out some encouragement. I spot Andi at the end, tossing a disc.  
"Backhand's looking tight, Andiman," I call out.  
She catches the frisbee her partner threw to her, then turns to me.  
"It is?" She asks.  
"Just needs some distance," I tell her. It's harder to catch a frisbee when it's going fast. If she and her partner put more space between them, they could probably catch it a lot more.  
"Lemme see your grip," I grab her wrist and turn it back and forth. She lets out a noise halfway between a snort and a laugh and I look up at her.  
"Allergies," she says.  
I chuckle and turn my focus back to her grip.  
"Try this," I say, adjusting her fingers on the frisbee. I notice something on her wrist that sort of looks like a bracelet, but wrapped around a few times. It's pretty, with blue stones and black string.  
"Nice," I say, "I want one of these. What do you call 'em? Wraps? But they're spendy."  
I remember last summer, when my extended family went to the beach, my cousin bought one on the boardwalk. It was upwards of $20.  
"I know, which is crazy, 'cause they're super easy to make."  
"Wait, seriously?" I ask, "You made this?" It looks store bought.  
"Yeah. I can make you one. Uh, if you want," Andi replies.  
"Dude, and it'll go around a bunch of times?"  
"Yeah, as many as you want," she tells me. She looks over my shoulder and her expression turns into one of dread.  
"Oh, no. Oh, no. Excuse me."  
She jogs over to where a boy and a girl are standing, looking smug. I decide to follow her.  
"Hey, friends of Andi," I say. The boy looks like he just saw Barack Obama at the grocery store.  
"Hey, Jonah Beck," he says.  
"You can just call me Jonah," I tell him.  
He leans over to the girl and whispers in her ear, "Did you hear that? Jonah Beck just said we can call him Jonah."  
This kind of thing happens sometimes. For whatever reason, some people got it into their heads that I'm some sort of god. I'm not, I'm just a boy with decent social skills and a nice smile (that last part is the words of my mom).  
"Don't listen to Cyrus Goodman, and this is Buffy Driscoll," Andi says, gesturing to each of her friends as she says their names.  
"You guys look like discheads!" I say. Buffy looks offended. She asks, "What did you just call us?"  
Andi talks before I get the chance.  
"Disc. Heads. People who play ultimate. Which they don't ever want to, right?"  
I don't know why they wouldn't, but to each their own, I guess.  
"Not if that's the team shirt," Buffy says, looking at me and Andi's shirts.  
"I'm more of a wheezer than a runner," Cyrus says, "But I'm happy to be a fan."  
"Excellent. You'll be our first one," I tell him. Not many people care about the ultimate frisbee team, if they even know it exists.  
"Wanna stick around for practice?" I ask them.  
"Sure, Jonah," Cyrus responds, and Buffy nods. I flash them a smile and head back over to where the team is practicing.  
Soon, kids are chugging their water, shouldering their backpacks, and getting into their parents' cars. I'm zipping up my bag when I hear a voice yell 'hi!' and, seconds after, feel a hand on my shoulder.  
"Amber alert, Amber alert," Amber says. I laugh and say, "Hey, Amber. We're headed to the park, right?"  
She smiles and says, "Yep. I picked up some birdseed, since bread is bad for ducks."  
"I'm sure the ducks are grateful," I reply, taking her hand.  
"They better be, this little bag was eight bucks," she says.

Sitting on a bench next to the pond, Amber rips open the bag of birdseed. A few ducks recognize the sound and waddle up to us, letting out a few pleading quacks.  
"Okay, okay, let me breathe," Amber says before tossing some on the ground. She turns her attention to me and grins.  
"I'm having a nice time. Aren't you?" she asks.  
"I am," I tell her.  
"Good," she says, pulling a sharpie from her bag. "May I?"  
I smile and give her my hand. She draws a heart and 'J + A' on my palm between my thumb and my wrist. The ducks quack at her for more birdseed.  
"You're still here?"  
She dumps the bag on the ground.

~~~~

Monday

After practice, I complement Gus on the awesome diving catch he did. He always puts everything into ultimate, and I admire that.  
I see Andi Mack waiting by the bench on the side of the field.  
"What's up, Andiman?" I ask.  
She's holding something black with a charm on the end- my bracelet! As I get closer, I can see how intricate it really is. I can't believe she made this.  
"This is for me?"  
"You wanted one, right?"  
I offer my wrist and she wraps the bracelet around it once. I study it for a second, then say, "Oh man. This is docious magocious, you made this?"  
She waves a hand dismissively and says, "Oh, it wasn't that hard."  
It doesn't matter if it wasn't hard; she still made it and it's super impressive.  
"Stop," I tell her, "You have a skill. Own it the way I own ultimate."  
I adjust it so the charm is facing out. "How's it look?"  
Andi says, "I think it looks good."  
My eyes widen a little bit. "Good? It's everything. Slays. Thank you," I say, punctuating it with a hug.  
We collect our things and go our separate ways: my destination is home.  
I reach the blacktop path that I can follow back to my house, but as I do, I find Amber sitting on a bench, her face turning away when she sees me.  
"Oh, no, no. Don't look at me. Keep walking. You can't see me like this," she says, still turned away. I rush to her side, sitting next to her.  
"What's wrong? Did something happen? What was it?"  
She looks at me, a distraught expression on her face. "You," she says, "With your groupie pixie dream girl."  
"What?" I ask.  
"Don't lie. I saw you just now, holding her in your arms."  
Kind of a too-intimate way to describe a hug. To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with giving a friend a hug. Everyone does it.  
"You mean Andi?"  
Amber leans away from me a little.  
"Please. I don't want to hear you say her name. It's like a knife to the heart," she says, feigning being stabbed in the chest.  
"Am I losing you, Jonah?" she asks after resting her head on my shoulder.  
"Of course not," I tell her.  
"Is this still my special spot?"  
"You know it is," I reply.  
Amber sits up, smiling. She shows no sign of the sadness she had moments ago. Pulling a Sharpie out of her backpack, she asks, "Is it still okay for me to do this?"  
"Yeah."  
She draws 'J + A' and a heart on the palm of my hand. When she finishes, she taps my new bracelet.  
"This is nice. Where did you get it?" she inquires. If she didn't like me hugging Andi, she definitely wouldn't like Andi giving me a gift.  
"Uh..."  
"Well?" she asks harshly.  
"It's nothing. I mean, it is something, but that something is uh... a bracelet. It's a bracelet," I stutter.  
"From Frisbee Girl," Amber finishes. It doesn't sound like a question, the way she said it.  
"Yeah."  
She examines the wrap again.  
"Looks expensive. She must have really wanted you to have it."  
"Oh. No," I say, "It- it wasn't expensive, actually, she just made it. She said they're not even that hard."  
Amber tilts her head.  
"Oh, if they're not hard to make, then can I have it? I'm sure she would make you another in no time," she says.  
I nod and take it off. What else can I do? If I say no, she'll think this means something romantic to me. It doesn't, and I don't know why she doesn't know that. It does mean something to me though - Andi handmade this for me, and it's special. I can't just ask her to make another. Amber knows that last part. She takes it from my hand and smiles.  
"Aw, thank you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more non canon stuff. as time goes on and Jonah gets a more complex storyline there will be more of that.


	4. Chapter 4

I spot Andi and Cyrus just as Buffy runs off. I go up to them- Cyrus set up this neat table with t-shirts, water bottles, and sunscreen and he's wearing a beige vest with pockets full to bursting with supplies. I don't know how he manages to put all this together so fast, but I'm grateful he did.  
"Cyrus, this bread is wicked sick," I say. He sets a rolled up t-shirt on top of a pile and says, "I was going for more classy casual, but I'll take it."  
"I think you might be our secret weapon," I tell him, "after Andiman here, right?" I sling my arm around the girl in question, then stand beside Cyrus.  
"Uh, Andi, isn't there something you wanted to tell Jonah?" he asks.  
Andi grins at me and says, "You have a nice smile."  
I grin back at her, but Cyrus shakes his head.  
"Detention?" he reminds her.  
She straightens.  
"Right! Right. And I got detention."  
Satisfied, Cyrus makes his way toward the cooler behind us.  
Detention is always right after school, so I figure she won't be playing in the game today. The team could really use her.  
"You got detention?" Woah, Andiman's got layers," I say. I watched Shrek yesterday, okay?  
"Sorry I can't play today," she says.  
"Yeah," I say, "We'll miss you. Tell old Mrs. Deblin hi for me."  
Andi's eyes widen as she stutters, "Mrs. Deblin? As in, the librarian? Wh- why would I be seeing her?"  
"Because detention's always in the library," I tell her. I'm not gonna lie, the librarian is a little scary. She has to be the oldest person in this town, too.  
"Just between us, she kinda freaks me out," I add on.  
Andi squeezes her eyes shut.  
"Isn't there another option? Possibly an abandoned caretaker shed, or a windowless room in a basement?" she asks.  
She's joking, I know, but I shake my head.  
"Don't worry, Andiman. Detention's short, and you'll be here for our next game, right?"  
"If Mrs. Deblin doesn't shush me and make my teeth and tongue fall out," she replies.  
I don't know what she's referencing, but it's probably better not to ask.  
"Mrs. Deblin wouldn't hurt a fly," I assure her as Cyrus returns to the table, SPF 75 sunscreen in hand.  
"Let's hope so. I better get there," Andi says hesitantly, turning toward the building.  
"You'll be fine!" I shout to her as she walks off.  
Someone taps my shoulder.  
"Sunscreen time!" Cyrus says. That's a good idea- I'm going to be in the sun for a while.  
"Thanks."  
"Close your eyes," he instructs.  
I do, and I hear the top of the sunscreen click, but I don't feel anything on my face.  
"Wh-" I begin, just as it starts to spray. I spit and search for my water bottle. The taste of sunscreen is almost the worst thing ever, right after bug spray (pro tip: don't bite your nails after using it). He grabs one of the water bottles on the table, looking mortified, and I chug it.  
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry," he says. I laugh after I finish drinking.  
"Hey, it's chill. Now my tongue won't burn!" I tell him.  
A whistle screams and kids turn toward the sound.  
"Get out there, Jonah!" Cyrus says, putting the sunscreen back into one of his many pockets.  
We destroyed the other team. Well, we did well. Okay, we won by two points, but that's big for us! And no one passed out, either! I'm so proud of my team- and Cyrus.  
"Cyrus, you're awesome!" I tell him, "This is the first game we've had where no one got heat stroke or second degree sunburn."  
"Aw, don't thank me. Thank my grandmother for teaching me the importance of sunscreen. It was my job to keep an eye on her, you know, questionable moles," he tells me.  
"Cool!" I say. At the same time, Buffy says, "Ew."  
She finished track practice sometime during the game, so she came to watch. She looks pleased.  
"We seriously couldn't have won without you. You killed it," I say to him.  
I start chanting "Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus!" and others join in, pumping their fists.

It's almost 5 o'clock when I sit down in a booth at The Spoon, waiting for Amber. When she arrives, she plops down onto the bench, eyes glued to her phone.  
"Whatcha looking at?" I ask her.  
She looks up, a mischievous look on her face.  
"Okay, so, my mom just texted me that some lady, Mrs. Goodman, emailed her that Bex Mack ISN'T Andi Mack's sister, but her MOM! And her 'mom' is her grandmother! Can you believe that? She must have been soooo shook," Amber says.  
I ponder that for a second. If I had a sister and she turned out to be my mom, I'd be pretty freaked out. I do feel bad someone blabbed to everyone, but honestly, after meeting Bex, I think she would be a good mom.  
"I dunno, I think that's pretty cool," I tell her.  
"Whatever," she says, "Let's order."  
I get a basket of baby taters and a chocolate milkshake. Amber gets a strawberry milkshake.  
"We can share your baby taters," she says.

~~~~

I hope Andi is doing okay. I'm shopping at Nine Lives thrift store when I see Cyrus browsing the button-up shirt rack.  
"Hey, Cy-guy," I call out. He jumps about a foot in the air, turning to look at me.  
"Oh, hi, Jonah, hi," he says, "I already said hi. Uh, how's- how's it goin'?"  
He leans on the rack and it rolls a few inches. He stumbles a little, then stands upright.  
"I'm just looking around," I tell him, "Might go to The Spoon later. You?"  
"I'm going there in a few minutes with Andi and Buffy. Figured I'd look for some more shirts in the meanwhile, I can never have too many", Cyrus says, gesturing to the one he's wearing.  
I laugh and nod. "You rock those shirts."  
He's grinning ear to ear now.  
"Uh, oh, thanks," he says, "Well, I better head out so, uh, to see Buffy and Andi."  
He turns and runs out of the store- well, first he runs into the glass door, but then he leaves the store, going the direction of The Spoon.  
A few moments later, I follow.  
~~~~  
I push open the door of The Spoon, greeting some kids in the front of the restaurant. I spot Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus sitting on the swivel chairs by the counter, and I make my way over to them.  
"Hi, Jonah," Andi says to me.  
"Hey, your... mom thing," I begin. I really should have thought about what I was going to say.  
"You heard," she says, looking embarrased.  
"Yeah. That's so awesome," I tell her.  
"It is?" she asks.  
"I'm so boring compared to you," I say. Honestly, it's true. The mom thing alone is pretty cool, and even if she's embarrassed now, I have a feeling she's going to be owning it real soon.  
"You're so not boring compared to everyone," Andi says. I don't really know how to respond to that, so I pull out my phone and ask, "Can I take a selfie with you?"  
She replies, "Uh, yeah, sure."  
Cyrus slides into the picture, his face still half red from running into the door, and says, "You're welcome," to Andi.

~~~~

from jonah.beck: did u see what andi posted?  
from amber.kippen: no, she denied my follow request >:(  
from jonah.beck: oh  
from jonah.beck: shes having a party tonight at her place  
from amber.kippen: and youre gonna go?  
from jonah.beck: why not? a partys a party, i bet itll be fun  
from amber.kippen: whatever  
from jonah.beck: r u going?  
from amber.kippen: itll probably be lame. I dont think so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would yall rather have frequent but short chapters or less frequent long chapters?


	5. Chapter 5

When I arrive at Andi's house, there are already dozens of people dancing and singing and playing games. I know most of them, of course, but I want to greet the hostess herself. She's wearing a pretty yellow dress- it suits her, yellow is her color. I make my way through the crowd and say, "Hey, great party!" to her.  
"Thanks, it's my first one," Andi tells me. I wouldn't have guessed. Everything is perfect: the music, the decorations- and I don't know how she managed to get so many people here.  
Bex points her flashlight toward me from where she stands at the DJ table.  
"I see you there, Jonah Beck, show me what you got!" she shouts.  
"Wanna dance?" I ask Andi.  
"Sure," she responds with a smile.  
For the first time since the freshman orientation in August, I'm not worried about anything. Not Amber, not schoolwork, not my social life. Of course, all good things must come to an end. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Amber entering the house with a posse of girls who look like they spent all day working on their makeup- seriously, it's good, but it's only a middle school party.  
I find Amber and Cyrus talking to a brunette girl- I recognize her from Amber's InstaPic profile picture.  
"Hey... Iris?" I say as I approach the group.  
"That's me," Iris says, "What's your name?"  
"Jonah," I tell her. She shakes my hand.  
"Nice to meet you."  
"What are we talking about?" I ask.  
"I was just introducing Cyrus to Iris," Amber says. If I hadn't met Iris, I would be hesitant to introduce Cyrus to any friend of Amber's, but the girl seems sweet so far.  
"And I'm glad she is," Iris giggles.  
Cyrus laughs nervously.  
"So am I, but, uh, I should go find Andi and Buffy. See you, Jonah, nice to meet you, Iris, and Amber, always a treat," he says, rushing off.  
Andi does this amazing dance with the lights off. She's wearing a suit that looks like she has a glow in the dark skeleton. After she finishes, I start a chant of 'An-di! An-di! An-di!'  
Amber climbs halfway up the steps so everyone can see her and says, "And let's not forget about Andi's new mom! Bex! Bex! Bex!"  
Everyone joins in.  
"And what about Andi's new dad? Is he here? We'd love to meet him, too," Amber asks.  
This causes a moment of awkward silence; there's absolutely no way to respond to that.  
The lights shut off for a second. When they come back on, Andi is gone. Bex turns on another song and leaves through the back door.  
"Why did you do that?" I ask Amber.  
She feigns innocence and says, "What did I do?"  
This just lights a fire in my chest.  
"You can't just ask a question like that in front of everyone. You shouldn't even ask that at all, it's super personal," I tell her.  
Amber is about to say something, but she's interrupted by a shrill voice yelling, "EVERYBODY OUT."  
I'm not sure who it is, but I leave anyway, since Buffy and Cyrus shot out the door. Amber is nowhere to be found.

~~~~

I'm doing homework at a picnic table when Cyrus says, "Hey, Jonah."  
I say, "Hey, Cyrus," to him and stand- I remember I wanted to talk to him.  
"Dude. I need to talk to you," I tell him.  
He jumps back and says, "Why? What did I do? I'm sorry."  
"Over here," I say, nodding to an empty table.  
Andi, Buffy, and I exchange a few 'hey's.  
"Fun party," I say to Andi.  
"Thanks," she says.  
"Your girlfriend seemed nice," Buffy says in a tight voice.  
After the party, she messaged me saying she wasn't thinking about what she did and that she was really sorry. She seemed sincere.  
"Listen, she feels really bad," I tell them.  
"It's okay," Andi says.  
As I walk with Cyrus, he says, "I just want you to know, whatever it is I did, I won't do it again."  
"You crack me up," I tell him, "Why are you so nervous all the time?"  
We sit at a picnic table.  
"Uh, probably because both my parents are shrinks," he says, and I cringe at the thought.  
"Oh man, that's rough," I say.  
"Who got divorced, and then remarried to two other shrinks," Cyrus continues, "So I'm being raised by four mental health professionals. Passover's fun."  
I nod. "So, dude, Iris likes you."  
After he left, she made it obvious she was sad he wasn't there. We made plans to go to the amusement park this weekend, like a double date.  
"That's great! Who's Iris?" Cyrus asks.  
"Amber's friend, you met her at the party," I tell him.  
He seems to remember her now. "Oh, well, that's awfully nice. Please convey to Iris that I enjoyed meeting her as well."  
"Dude, I don't think you're following. They wanna hang out this weekend, you cool with that?"  
"Yeah! Who wouldn't be cool with that?" he exclaims.  
I try to pull him in for a bro hug, but he puts his hand up for a high five.  
"I see what you were going for there. You wanna try that again?"  
"Nah, I'm good," I say, walking off.

~~~~

Amber and I walk up to Cyrus and Iris, who are laughing.  
"What are you two giggling about?" Amber asks.  
"Private joke," Iris responds.  
She and Cyrus look perfect for each other. I really hope it works out.  
"I love it. You're already such a cute couple," Amber says, mirroring my thoughts.  
"So, games, food, rides, what are we doing first?" I ask.  
"I'm not fussy," Cyrus says, then continues, "Well, I'm a little fussy."  
"Me too," Iris says.  
"So cute," Amber says. She walks toward the entrance to the park, pulling me with her.  
"My dad has those shoes," she says to Cyrus.  
We all get wristbands upon entering, but Cyrus is hesitant.  
"Thrill rides and I don't mix. Actually, any rides and I don't mix," he says.  
"Why don't we try some games first? There's ring toss over there," I suggest, pointing to a booth nearby.  
Everyone nods, and we head over. The bottles are pretty close, maybe eight feet, and the rings hit their marks easily. I give the stuffed pig I won to Amber, who seems happy with it. Cyrus proves athletics aren't his forte- after tossing three or four rings, Iris asks, "Can I try?"  
She wins him a giant stuffed dinosaur, dubbing it 'Ciris-with-an-i'.  
We decide to get some soft pretzels and figure out our game plan from there.  
“I was thinking we could do rides for a little,” I say, “End the day with some roller coasters?”  
"Ooh, can we do the carousel next? It's not too far," Iris says.  
Everyone nods in agreement. I'm not a huge fan of carousels, but if everyone else wants to ride it, I won't complain.  
Cyrus collects our pretzel trash and throws it away.  
"Leggo," he says with some finger guns. Iris giggles and grabs his hand, and Amber grabs mine.  
Iris and Amber run up to the carousel, but Cyrus looks uneasy.  
"I probably shouldn't. I don't do well with up and down... or side to side... or up and down."  
He starts to walk off the platform, but it starts spinning and he grabs onto a horse.  
"I need to get off. Seriously, who do I talk to?"  
"Are you okay?" Iris asks.  
"Stop the ride, please! Please, it's an emergency, please! Please, I beg of you, stop the ride!" he rambles, obviously not okay. People notice the commotion, and the ride slides to a stop.  
"Cyrus, it's stopped," I tell him. He stumbles toward the exit, looking for a trash can.  
"He's not going to make it," Amber says.  
He doesn't.  
We follow Cyrus to where he's leaning against a wall, his shoe, presumably being filled with vomit, held to his face. He plops it in the trash can five feet away.  
"Okay, maybe we should cut our day short," Iris suggests.  
Amber nods, looking down at Cyrus' feet.  
"Yeah, you're gonna wanna... get some new shoes," she says. He just nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow ok I did not enjoy writing that last part,


	6. Chapter 6

I'm talking to some kids from ultimate, but Andi keeps looking at me. Not idle glances either, but the kind of look that sends a message- except I have no clue what that message is. I excuse myself and walk over to her.  
"What's happenin'?" I ask her.  
"Huh?"  
"You wanted to tell me something?"  
Her expression grows panicked.  
"No, I don't. Who said that? Buffy?"  
"You were just looking at me like..." I trail off. I don't really know how she was looking at me. "What is it?"  
"Jonah, I can't. You'll hate me," she says.  
"Hate you?" I ask, "That's impossible."  
Andi sighs and says, "I saw Amber in the park with someone else."  
"Yeah?" That's not that bad. She's allowed to have friends.  
"A guy..."  
"Who?" I ask.  
"I don't know," she says, "but she was drawing on his hand."  
"She was?" is the only thing I can say. So, she was drawing on his hand. That doesn't mean anything, it's not like we signed an agreement saying she can only draw on my hand. And anyway, I'm sure it wasn't-  
"And I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think it was a heart," she finishes.  
I show her my hand with 'J + A' and the heart Amber drew.  
"Like this?" I ask her.  
"Yeah... except yours is nicer!" she says.  
"I wasn't gonna tell you, and-"  
"I'm gonna try to wash this off before class," I interrupt.  
"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Andi says.  
Just a heart. Just a few lines of Sharpie. Who said Sharpie lines were romantic? No one. But it's our thing- it was our thing. Is it still?  
"Don't worry. I'll be fine," I tell Andi.  
"Obviously. I mean, you're Jonah Beck," she says.  
I'm Jonah Beck. Human ray of sunshine. I can keep doing that, how hard could it be? I have resting happy face. It'll be okay.  
"I'll be fine, don't worry," I tell her. It isn't her problem.  
"Yeah, you... just said that," she says. Suddenly I'm aware of the effort it takes to breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating, but everything is working as it should- is it the air? Is there not enough oxygen? Is that why it feels like I need to breathe twice as fast just to stay conscious?  
"I did?" I wheeze.  
"Yeah..." she says. I stand up. I need to be anywhere but here, anywhere but with Andi or Amber or Buffy or Cyrus. I shove open the door that leads outside.  
I sit on a bench next to the entrance of the school and take deep breaths. I definitely overreacted, I must have, but I can't think of why I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I mean, there's always the chance Andi was wrong, that it wasn't Amber, or that it wasn't a heart...  
I pull my phone from my pocket.

from jonah.beck: hey can i talk to u?

from amber.kippen: yeah, what's up?

from jonah.beck: dont be mad. idk if it's not true or not the whole story or what, but I need to tell u

from amber.kippen: .....yeah?

from jonah.beck: andi said u drew a heart on some guy's hand at the park

from jonah.beck: is that true?

from amber.kippen: ofc it's not true!! I thought youd know better than to trust her. that's our thing <3 j + a

from jonah.beck: ok

from amber.kippen: are you free after school? meet me at your locker

from jonah.beck: yeah sure

~~~~

Amber is leaning on my locker when I reach it. I have no clue how she got into the school, considering she doesn't even go here- Amber magic, I guess.  
"Hey, Jonah," she says with a soft smile.  
"Hey," I respond.  
"I have a theory," she tells me, pushing off of the wall behind her.  
"Give me your phone," she says.  
"What? No," I say.  
She tilts her head and says, "Aw, Jonah, I thought you trusted me."  
Any way I respond to that, I look like the bad guy, so I give her my phone.  
"'Glad we talked. Hey, can you meet me by my locker? I need to see you. Smiley face,'" she reads.  
"What are you doing? Who did you text?" I ask. "Andi," she says, "to see how fast she gets here." "What does that have to do with anything?" Amber smiles and hides in the doorway of a classroom just as Andi comes into view- she's running at full speed toward me. "Hey!" she says, coming to an abrupt stop.  
"Andi, listen," I begin.  
"Amber alert, Amber alert," Amber puts a hand on my shoulder.  
"That's right, I'm still saying it."  
"And it's still wrong," Andi says.  
Amber turns to me.  
"Did you see how fast she got here? How she ran to see you when she got that text? There's your proof."  
"Proof? Of what?" Andi asks.  
"Amber, stop, I get your point," I whisper to her.  
"I had to," she says, "I had to show Jonah why you were lying about seeing me with some other boy at the park."  
"I didn't lie! Why would I lie about seeing you with another guy?"  
"Because you like Jonah! Tell the truth, girl who doesn't lie," Amber says.  
"Amber, come on," I say.  
Andi takes a deep breath and says in a controlled voice, "You know, the question I'd rather answer is 'why am I still here, listening to you?' And the answer is: I'm not."  
She walks between Amber and I, bumping both of our shoulders. She slips on the water where the janitor just mopped, but catches herself.  
"Thank you!" she says to him angrily.  
I turn toward Amber.  
"You didn't have to do that," I tell her.  
"Yes, I did!" she says, "she refused to answer, and now you know that she likes you. And that she was lying."  
She tries to kiss me on the cheek, but I move out of the way.  
"I, uh... gotta go home. See you tomorrow."  
I find Andi in the auditorium, staring into space.  
"Hey," I say.  
"How'd you find me?" she asks.  
"You're bike's still here, so I've been looking. I just wanted to see if you're okay. Are you?"  
She turns to look at me.  
"Yes. This is where I go, and this is what I look like when things are okay," she says. I guess I had that coming; I should have phrased my question differently.  
"About what happened," I say, "The thing is, Amber's kind of insecure." Why else would she go to such length to convince me Andi was lying?  
"That's like saying sharks are insecure. 'I wonder if that dolphin likes me- nevermind I'm just gonna eat it'," she says.  
"Andi, I feel really bad," I whisper.  
"Do you really believe her?" she asks, "your insecure shark? Do you really think that I lied to you?"  
"No! I don't know, maybe you didn't see what you thought you saw."  
"You know what? You're a great boyfriend, but not such a great friend. At least, to me," Andi says.  
"I'm sorry," I say.  
"Yeah, me too," she says, "that I ever said anything to you"  
"Andi..."  
"Please just go. Just go."  
I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting more than once in one day? on MY fic? It's More Likely Than You Think


	7. Chapter 7

I catch Amber outside of the school. I call her name and she turns around.  
"I thought you were going home," she says.  
"Yeah, I, uh, had to go to the bathroom first. Can I walk with you?"  
She nods and a soft smile replaces her scowl, which should make me feel better, but it only reminds me of what Andi said- 'Do you really believe her? Your insecure shark?'  
I don't know if I do.  
Sometimes Amber is fun to be around- I mean, I had fun at the amusement park a while back, but is she more trouble than she's worth? But she cares about me, she's a constant in my life, a rock. So maybe that rock is... a little jagged. I don't know, I think I went too far with that metaphor.  
She takes my hand.  
"So, tomorrow. Wanna go to the park?" she asks. A few seconds pass. I shouldn't do it, right? I should keep dating her.  
"Um..."  
She stops walking and turns to face me, grabbing my other hand.  
"What's wrong?" she asks.  
"Maybe we... shouldn't," I tell her.  
"Shouldn't go to the park? We could go somewhere else, if you-"  
"No," I interrupt, "Maybe we shouldn't... be 'we'."  
Amber lets go of my hands.  
"What do you mean?" she asks hesitantly, eyebrows knitting together.  
"You know what I mean," I say.  
"You're breaking up with me," she says. It isn't a question.  
I just nod. I don't have to feel bad about this; if she got herself one boyfriend, she can get herself another, no problem. And I can get myself another girlfriend.  
"You'll regret it. You'll wish you hadn't given me up," she says, crossing her arms.  
Maybe soon I will, but I certainly don't feel any remorse now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hh really short chapter because writer's block


	8. Chapter 8

My life really has improved since I broke up with Amber, but as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of miss her. I had just gotten used to her being in my life, and since she goes to a different school, I don't see her at all anymore. I'm not sure I have any regrets, though. I'm thinking about this whole situation while I stretch before gym class when I see Cyrus walk up to me out of the corner of my eye, and I look up.  
"Hey, Cyrus, this your gym class?" I ask. I don't remember ever seeing him here before.  
"Maybe. Y'know, checkin' it out," he does some stretches that won't help with anything.  
"So, uh... wassup?"  
"Nada," I say.  
He sits on the bench next to me.  
"Really? So you're doing okay with the breakup? C'mon, brah, lemme in!"  
A few days ago, Buffy and Cyrus asked me to confirm if I had broken up with Amber. Honestly, I don't know why they're so invested.  
"You got your eye on anyone else?" he asks.  
"Not really," I say, starting to get up, "I don't really like talking about this stuff."  
He puts a hand on my arm and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Me neither, man. But, I mean, if we were the kind of guys who liked talking about this stuff, who'd we be talking about?" he asks.  
I don't know why there has to be someone. Can't I just live my life?  
"I don't know if I really want a girlfriend right now," I tell him. I start to get up, but again, he grabs my arm.  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, JB, JB, JB. I hear you, man. But is that really what your heart is saying?" he taps my chest, "'Cause I think your heart is saying something that wants to come out your mouth."  
"I don't wanna get hurt again," I say.  
"You won't," Cyrus tells me, "You're Jonah Beck!"  
Jonah Beck... I guess Jonah Beck has to have a girlfriend to be worth anything. Is having one really that bad though? Lots of people are in happy relationships, why shouldn't I, too? So maybe Amber isn't the best person, but people change all the time.  
"You're right," I say, standing up, "I was second-guessing myself. I know what to do now. Thanks, man."  
~~~~  
from jonah.beck: can u meet me by my locker? need to talk to u

from amber.kippen: ofc! be there in 5?

from jonah.beck: ok

"What's up?" Amber asks me. She looks happy, which is a pleasant surprise.  
"Uh..." I begin. How do I start this conversation? Be casual, right?  
"So, I was thinking we could get back together," I say. Thankfully, she doesn't say 'I told you so.'  
"That's what I was thinking, too. It's been lonely without you, Jonah," she tells me. I guess she means lonely, beside her friends. Friends... I forgot I was going to talk to Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus during lunch today. I wanted to see if they would want to hang out after school, since my mom is working late tonight and it's my dad's turn to make dinner. Oh well, another time.  
"So... park?" I ask.  
"Sure," Amber says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter again bc writer's block is a bitch


	9. Chapter 9

The tall dude with the great hair is pretty cool, so when Andi runs up to him and asks, "What are you doing here?" I get confused. She must not know.  
"This is our new coach," I tell her.  
A look of disbelief crosses her face.  
"Coach?" she asks.  
"Not a coach," Bowie tells her, "Just here to see you play! Bex said you had a game. But Jonah and I got talking."  
He gives me a fist bump.  
"You two know each other?" I ask, looking back and forth between them.  
Andi forces a smile.  
"Um... he's my dad," she says.  
"Your dad?" I ask, pointing to him.  
"Yeah, should've mentioned that," Bowie says to me, then to Andi, "We got caught up talking plays!"  
I guess the discheadedness runs in the family.  
"He's new," Andi says, "And he didn't come with instructions."  
Bowie raises his hands in surrender.  
"Cover blown, sorry guys," he says, causing the group of my teammates surrounding him to disperse. I jog to a group of kids talking, but I'm stopped by the coach (the real one, that is).  
"Hey, that your dad?" he asks me, pointing to Bowie, who's talking with Andi and Cyrus.  
"No, Andi's," I tell him. My dad has never been to a game.  
"She's really bringing in the fans," he says, impressed. I give a smile and run to Andi.  
"Let's go, Andiman!"  
She and Bowie turn toward me.  
"You're sticking around, right?" I ask.  
"You bet!" he says, then adds, "But I won't cheer, I will be very quiet," when Andi gives him a look. I pat her shoulder and we walk toward the yellow line the rest of my teammates stand on.  
"I can't believe that's your dad," I say, "he's docious magocious!"  
"Well, docious, sure. But magocious? I mean, I just met him," she says with a laugh.  
Andi makes some gestures to Bowie, who's holding his phone in front of his face.  
"Something wrong?" I ask.  
"No... it's just, he records everything," she says.  
"Great, then we'll have our first game tape!" I say just as the whistle blows.  
The game goes just as well as our other games with our newest- and only- fan, Cyrus. I'm talking with Bowie about famous discheads while Andi packs up.  
"Yeah, but for every great dischead there's a dedicated fan," Bowie says.  
"You're totally right, I don't know what we'd do without Cyrus," I say, "I guess get heatstroke and sunburn like before."  
Bowie laugh is cut off when he realizes I'm not joking.  
"Those friends are once in a lifetime. Hope you let him know how much you appreciate him," he says, walking off with Andi. He's right: I've never met anyone as selfless as Cyrus. I pull out my phone and text him 'u r gnarly', although with the glare from the fluorescent lights, it's hard to see the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, hopefully the next few will be coming soon.


	10. Chapter 10

I walk into The Spoon and greet some kids by the door. I'm just here to pick up a takeout order for my family, so I don't sit with them. I spot Buffy and Cyrus a few booths down, and I wave. Buffy tells Cyrus something, and he kind of jerks his head. I'm not really sure what that was for though, so I walk over to them.  
Cyrus is wearing different clothes. I mean, really different- not his usual semi-formal atire. He stands when I reach their booth.  
"New look, Cy-guy?"  
"You know it, Jo... Jo Lamma Jamma," he says. Buffy face-palms.  
"You crack me up," I tell him, "And I love it when you come to the games with the vest with all the swag. You got my text, right?"  
"You mean the one where you said I'm girly?" he asks hesitantly.  
"What?" I ask. That can't be right. He opens the message app on his phone, showing me the screen.  
"Your text. You wrote 'u r girly."  
"That's some stupid autocorrect. That's supposed to be 'ur gnarly'," I say.  
"I'm gnarly," he says to himself, "Now, when you say gnarly-"  
"You're cool, man," I interrupt, "And can we just leave it at that?"  
"Cool. Yeah. We can leave it at cool," Cyrus says, and I pull him into a bro hug. Then I head over to the counter where my family's bag of takeout sits.

~~~~

from amber.kippen: remember my birthday's tomorrow! just in case you wanted to get me something :)

from jonah.beck: ofc! and dont worry, it's not gonna be like last time

from amber.kippen: haha good

I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around- it's Andi. I haven't seen her since I went to her house to watch the game tape. I feel bad I didn't ask before coming over, since she was obviously doing something.  
"Oh, Andi, hey," I say.  
"Look, can I just apologize for the other day? I didn't mean to flip out, I was just surprised to see you," she says. She thinks I'm mad at her? But she didn't do anything. So if she's apologizing, does that mean...  
"So you're not mad at me?" I ask. Andi's eyebrows draw together.  
"Why would I be mad?" she asks.  
"I don't know. I should have asked you before I just showed up, and the whole Amber text thing..." I begin.  
"Totally over that," she says, "Don't need to talk about it again. And you can come over anytime, come over today if you want!"  
"Okay, sweet," I say.  
"Really?"  
"Why not?" I ask.  
She has, like, the best family. Her parents are actually cool and fun to talk to; I can't even remember the last time I had a good conversation with either of my parents. Come to think of it, I haven't talked a lot lately with anyone except Amber... whose birthday is tomorrow, and I still haven't found a present.  
"Wait, I can't. There's something I have to do."  
"Oh... ok," Andi says.  
"But if you still wanna hang out I actually could use some help," I suggest. A second opinion is always good, and Andi's creative. I'm sure she'll be a big help.  
"I'm up for anything, just name it and I'll be there," she tells me.  
"I have to get Amber a birthday present," I say.  
"Sweet," she says, smiling.  
"What were you thinking of getting?" Andi asks.  
"I don't know. I'm not even sure where to look," I say.  
"Ooh, why don't we go to The Fringe? My mom works there so she'll definitely be able to help. And Amber likes makeup and stuff, right?"  
"I hope so," I say. The last time I got her something, it didn't go so well. I saw this little bag with a wrist strap at Nine Lives and I thought she'd like it, but I was dead wrong. Apparently purple isn't her color.  
"Okay, well, the bell should be ringing soon so I'm gonna head to class, but meet me by my locker after school, okay?" Andi says.  
"Sounds good," I reply.

~~~~

"Bex has always been the best at makeup," Andi tells me, "so she wanted to work here. She gets paid pretty good, but she has to work under this kid she used to babysit, who, apparently, was a nightmare."  
"Oof, can't imagine that," I say. I've never babysat before, unless you count feeding my neighbor's fish while they were on vacation.  
"And here we are!" Andi says pointing to a big sign that says 'The Fringe'.  
"Andi! Jonah! Look at you guys... here... together," Bex says when we enter.  
"We're getting a birthday present for Amber," Andi says quickly, "You remember her, right Bex? Jonah's girlfriend who's... still his girlfriend."  
Bex tilts her head.  
"Yes, I do. What a sweetheart. So, Jonah, what were you thinking?"  
"I don't know. Amber never likes what I give her, and she won't tell me what she wants. It's like this fun guessing game that we play that I never win. It isn't really fun," I say.  
"Like I said. What a sweetheart. How about makeup?" Bex asks.  
"She'd love that! I think. I wouldn't know what to get." There are so many different kinds of makeup. Lipstick, mascara... actually, that's all I know, but there's definitely a lot.  
"Don't worry, I'll show you everything on Andi," Bex says.  
"On Andi?" the girl in question asks, "Why on Andi?"  
Bex puts her hands on Andi's shoulders and guides her to a chair.  
"Come on, this way, it's gonna be so fun," she mutters.  
Bex applies different things to Andi's face over the course of fifteen minutes, explaining what each thing is.  
"See how this makes her eyes sparkle?" she asks, then adds on, "Not that Andi needs makeup. But sometimes it's nice to be noticed in a different way. Right jonah?"  
She's right. Andi always looks nice, but this is a different kind of nice  
"Wow. You look really pretty," I tell her.  
"Thanks," she says.  
"So, is there like a set that I can buy, or..." I trail off.  
Bex laughs.  
"I can get you everything I used on Andi," she says, gathering everything she used, "except foundation, since I don't know what shade she needs."  
"Okay, cool," I say as she scans the items. There's a lot.  
"Okay, your total is $37.95, but I'm gonna let you use my employee discount so that's... $22.77," Bex tells me.  
"Are you sure?" I ask. That's a pretty big discount.  
"Hey, don't worry about it. This place is overpriced."  
"Thanks. See you tomorrow, Andi!" I say as I leave the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter finally


	11. Chapter 11

from jonah.beck: meet u at the park in 10?

from amber.kippen: yep! excited to see what you got me :D

It's a five minute walk to the park, and I know the way like the back of my hand, so I let my mind wander. There's no way Amber won't like the makeup I bought her. That sort of stuff is right up her alley. She can't complain about the eyeshadow not being her color, because I got a whole palette. It's perfect.

from amber.kippen: is that you I see? you're early haha

from jonah.beck: excited to see you

I walk over to Amber, who's sitting on a bench overlooking the pond.  
"Hey, hey," I say, "Happy birthday."  
She smiles when she sees me. Looking down at the gift bag I'm holding, she says, "Hey Jonah! What's that?"  
"Your present," I tell her, sitting down next to her.  
"Cool, cool. So are we gonna do presents first or walk first?" Amber asks.  
"Up to you," I say.  
She crosses her legs and says, "I mean, if we do presents first, you won't have to carry that heavy thing around."  
I hand her the bag and she pulls out the tissue paper.  
"Fancy," she comments.  
She examines each object in the bag, save for the card, and gives me a hug.  
"Aw, I love it. You're a perfect boyfriend," Amber says. My body goes cold for a moment, but I ignore it.  
"Well, you're a perfect girlfriend," I say as she picks the card from the bottom of the bag, opening it.  
After buying Amber's present yesterday, I got a simple dollar store card. I figured I didn't need to put too much thought into it, since it is just a piece of paper.  
"Happy birthday, Amber," she reads, a strange look on her face.  
"Something wrong?" I ask.  
"It's just... I was hoping for something a little more personal than 'happy birthday'. You already said that to me," she says.  
"It also says your name," I point out. She shakes her head and holds out the card.  
"I'll give you a second chance. Write something nice, okay?"  
"Okay," I say. She shovels her makeup back into the bag.  
"Awesome," she says, "let's get going, then."  
She takes my hand after I put the card in my pocket.  
"I have dance at 5 o'clock so we have about a half hour," Amber tells me, checking her phone.

Amber and I walk the path, talking about school and friends and books that should not have gotten movie adaptations. She's really not so bad to be with, and I'm glad Cyrus talked me into getting back with her. We stop at Amber's front door.  
"See ya, Jonah," she says, not moving.  
"Bye," I say. She still doesn't move.  
"Uh, I'll fix the card," I say. She rolls her eyes and kisses me.  
"Tell me when it's done," she says before closing the door.

~~~~

I unlock my front door and step into the foyer.  
"What is wrong with you? Our family can't-"  
"Uh, am I interrupting something?" I ask my parents as I enter the kitchen. My mom's expression of rage morphs into panic when she sees me. My dad looks like he got caught shoplifting.  
"I thought you had a date with Amber," my mom says.  
"Yeah, she has dance at 5," I tell her, "What's going on?"  
"Why don't you get started on your homework?" my dad suggests.  
"Don't have any. It's Friday."  
"Go play Xbox or something, then," he says. They obviously don't want me here, so I leave. When I get to my room, I put my earbuds in, but Cavetown isn't the best at drowning out noise.


	12. Chapter 12

'Dear Amber, thanks for'

'Dear Amber, I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are'

'Hey Amber,'

Luckily, I decided to use a notebook for drafting Amber's birthday card. This is impossible, how am I supposed to know what she wants to hear? I guess I could ask Iris, but she could tell Amber I couldn't do it myself and then she'll be mad at me and I'll have to give a heartfelt apology...

My phone alarm goes off and I put my notebook into my backpack and close it. My parents aren't awake yet, they never are on school days, so I close my door as quietly as I can after making sure my cat isn't hiding under my bed. As I pass my parents' room I take a quick look inside: they're sleeping as far apart from each other as possible, as they have for as long as I can remember. My mom is sleeping with the blanket I bought her for mother's day after she and my dad had a huge argument about their shared duvet. I close the front door quickly so Coward doesn't get out (he has before, it's a nightmare trying to catch that cat).

~~~~

By some miracle, Andi is walking by the front entrance of the school when I enter the building.

"Yo, Andi! Thanks again for yesterday, that was fun," I say.

She turns around and says, "Sure, any time."

"I'm really glad you said that. Amber loved the makeup, but she hated my card," I say, handing her the envelope and she opens it.

"'Happy birthday, Amber'. Gets the job done," she gives the card back.

"She said she wanted more emotion-y stuff," I tell Andi, "She gave it back so I can try again. Amber's good at giving me second chances."

"Yeah, that's, uh, one of her many good qualities," she says. I can't tell if she's being sarcastic, so I say, "So could you tell me what to write?"

"Just write what you feel," Andi says. But the thing is, I already tried that. I just don't know what I feel. I'm usually good at putting things into words, but this time, I have no clue what to say. It's just a birthday card, what is there to say that hasn't already been said with 'happy birthday'?

"I don't know how to do that. I just need something really nice that sounds like I wrote it. Can you help me? Please?" I ask. She lets out a short breath.

"Sure. Sure. I have class right now, but, um, maybe later."

"Awesome. Thanks, Andi, you're a great..."

A great what? We're friends, right? Yeah, we are. But I can't say friend now because the pause has been too long and that would sound weird-

"Pal," I finish. She smiles and I walk past her to my first period class.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you like it so far. My tumblr is why-does-it-have-to-be-love


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